This post may scare off some of those easily disgusted men out there who think we women have nothing but a hole down there.
Reasons I hate the Vaj Doctor:
1. It really is like paying for bad sex. I mean come on, they shove a blue dildo like thing up there, they squeeze your boobs for lumps, THEN they shove 2 fingers up there.
2. That little paper vest does NOT make you feel clothed even in the slightest.
3. That clicking sound you hear when that blue dildo thing is jammed up there is worse than hearing the drill at the dentist because you know what’s coming next.
4. The Q-Tip that reaches all the way to your cervix is probably the weirdest feeling in the world. I can’t even describe it. It goes all the way up to an inside you just never want to reach.
5. The Stirrups. Those damn stirrups.
On top of that, my doctor told me I could get dressed while she was in there if I didn’t mind because she wanted to explain why she was going to have blood work done… Of course I don’t want to get dressed while she’s in there! Who asks that!? I thought it would be rude to kick out the woman that just saw everything anyways, so I spent the next 5 minutes struggling to put my clothes on while trying not to flash her and trying to stay covered with that stupid paper vest.
Her hands were freezing too.
Hilariously Ever After 
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The most awkward thing is if your gyno is doing the breast exam and says “Wow, you have some big boobs. I bet your mama has big boobs, too, doesn’t she?” True story. Also, the last time I was having my exam I laughed for some reason and the vag-spreading device flew right out of me!
Holy crap! You have no idea how much this made me laugh! Thank you so much for sharing that! That must have been an extremely traumatizing experience š
At the time it was, but it does make a hilarious story! Glad it made you laugh! š
ummmm… You didn’t scare me off, but I can’t say I am not now sort of wishing you had… thanks for, uh, sharing…
Now do one about the proctologist…
I can gladly say I’ve never seen one a proctologist. You can go ahead and give that one ago.
I may just have to do that one of these days.
BLAHHHHH!!! Thanks for reminding me it has been over 2 years!
I had a friend who was a little over-enthusiastic about scooting to the end of the table … and landed in the doctor’s lap. Naked. Shudder. Makes me feel a lot better about any gyno mishaps I may have.
Wow. Everyone has horribly traumatizing, yet hilarious stories about the gyno!
These silly vaginas… they really are like eternal punishment. I’m trying to work up the nerve to go back for my annual appointment with the who-ha doctor. Her name is Lolly and despite her festive name she is one cold-handed broad with a pension for insulting my lady part’s appearance.
That sounds horrifying! I don’t know how I’d feeling they insulted my lady bits. It’s already bad enough that they have to play with it, but then insult it? For shame!